Three women eating ice-cream

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you...

There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it.

Which one is married?"The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

Heart Specialist Funeral

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral.

A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.

When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing.

The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynecologist."

Costume Party

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party by a family friend, in which all attendees were required to wear a mask.

The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone, and to make sure to say hello to her family.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.

As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate time in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.

When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."

"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.

"Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, apparently he had the time of his life."

More jokes could be found in http://www.sgclub.com/ ...
Will be posting more jokes...

The one who abandoned the froggies...

Im sure u r reading this post now...

Ya u...

The one using Soul Exchange and keeps targeting...
Nothing to post...

So lets talk abt u...

U used froggies...

emperors(mornach)...

Dragons...

And now?

wat do u wanna use?

The final battle is coming...

We two hav not settlted down on our decks yet...

The kage wans to bring out his ultimate weapon...

I tot he say he "retired Admiral"?

Our population so scarse that he had to get back into battle field again...

Erm...for those who are lost...

This is abt Yu-Gi-Oh...

The one who ABANDONED the froggies...

Does this card looks familiar?

Or

This is more familiar?

AVT Tournament Day 7(21/3/09)

Did not post day 6 as i did not play much that day...
Nothing to say abt it...

Day 7...
Started wif 2 chips...
fought with Clarence Foo...
Used a Fish + D.A.D deck...
well...
Too strong an opponent...
LOST...
My Frogs not listening to me...
All just come out randomly...
All that I need then never come out...

Left wif 1 chip...
Fought against i guy called Eric...
I thought he would be an easy target...
But he turns out to be a Counter Fairy Guy...
LOST...
Every move I make...
He counter...
Spell Speed 3 somemore...

NO more chips...
For the rest of the games...
i did not play...
Just judge...

Need to improve on my Froggies...
The previous Owner of the frog deck...
Abandoned them...
I took over the deck...
Something like Jiraiya dead...
Then,Naruto come back revenge...

Is the Tournament using our S-rank mission?
Well...
I dunno...
It all depends on the Azurekage...

AVT tournament Day 5

Yesterday,tuornament day 5...
i lost like siao...
Now all the BF decks can defeat me le...
i think i change deck for a while...
Luck might change...
Argh...Deck Ideas...

Why did i lose all the time now?
I guess u need to get stronger...
I need to get stronger in order to WIN!!
Willpower of the Vongola will not be gone so easily...

I will let my flame of dying will light up again...
IN order to win the BF decks...
Will not give up...
Will fight till the end...

AVT Tournament Day 4

yesterday had no time to post abt the tournament...
Well i joined the game at around 3pm(the third slot of the day )...
started with 1 chip...
Played against Amos & lost...
Restarted and now regained to 2 chips...
For the last time slot...
I faced Off with Alex Yeo...
One of the top player in Khatib...
Bet 2 chips(show hand)...

I lost...
BF deck...
Used the Simorgh deck...
But did not get the chance to lock him...
Now go back to 0 chips...
Need to see if i can join this saturday...
Deck not ready!!!
Need to find the cards in a week...
WTH!!!

My revenge on xxxx is coming...
For calling my key card USELESS!!!
I will show u its lock...

AVT Tournament Day 3

Day 3!

Started with 2 chips today...
But lose all...
So,had to restart by paying $2...
After i restart,played wif Jeff...
Bet 1 chip...
Lost to his undead Synchro(Zombie Synchro)...
But after losing to him,won another guy and got back to 2 chips again...
Last match,played wif AzureDark...
Lost!!!
but nvm...
own team...

Wanted to play wif no.36 but did not get the chance...
I remember SOMEONE saying my cards useless!!!
I need to gain the honour of my cards...

For more details...
Visit azure.dailyforum.net for more info...

Joke no. 1:

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that again."

Joke no. 2:

There was a man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured.
But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both his ears.
As a result of this "unusual" handicap, he was very self-conscious about his appearance.
Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company.
It had always been his dream to run his own business, so he decided that with all this money he had, he now had the means to start a business.
After purchasing a small, but expanding computer firm, he realised that he had no business knowledge at all, and would have to hire someone to run the business.
He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them.

The first interview went really well.
He really liked this guy.
His last question for this first candidate was "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears."
The man got really upset and threw the guy out.

The second interview went even better than the first.
This candidate was much better than the first.
Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
The guy also answered, "Yes, you have no ears."
The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.
Finally, he had the third interview.
The third candidate was the best out of all of them.
Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
The guy replied, "Yeah, I bet you are wearing contact lenses."
Surprised, the man then asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?"
The guy burst out laughing and said,"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!"